#yeah that one opened some doors for me
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i have never gone to kingdom hearts in my life. i tried to play kh1 at a friend's house and got as far as tarzan world before giving up. but when kh2 came out my mortal enemy brought the strategy guide to our high school lunch table to pass around. i flipped through it dismissively because i thought all the character designs were lame-- then i saw Lion King Sora. and i just fucking bluescreened for like six whole minutes. i don't know how to describe what i felt except pure, undiluted euphoria. someone asked me what was up and i was like "i dunno, i guess Lion King Sora looks cool." and then my mortal enemy smiled his toothiest evil smile and said "you're a fucking furry."
then i spent the next 13 years in denial despite vocally defending furries at every opportunity and only following furry artists and reading furry comics and fantasizing about getting turned into a funny animal person of the opposite gender ("no i'm NOt trans i'm NOT trans i'm not even GAY ok i just think it'd be hot SHUT UP").
unfortunately, my arch nemesis was right. i am a fucking furry, and it's Lion King Sora's fault.
♪"Look around in all the places you go to Stand your ground and stay solid like Ogun Watch your back and just do what you supposed to Take care of family and people you’re close to"♪
#sarahposts#i mean let's be real i was a furry long before 2005#i had my friends pretend to turn me into pokemon for fun in elementary school#that powerpuff girls ep where everybody gets turned into dogs?#yeah that one opened some doors for me#huge shoutouts to disney robin hood too that boy can get it#kingdom hearts#lion king sora
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I saw it in your tag game post that you're also fond of the Apollo-Heracles conflict 👀 for a myth that appears in only a couple of sources, it sure has a lot of presence in the vase paintings (no seriously, everytime I think I've seen the last of it, I find ten more)
SO do you have any favorites among the paintings that represent this story??
OMG OMG THIS ASK IS A GIFT. IT IS A GIFT THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR LETTING ME TALK ABOUT THIS
I also think it's extremely interesting that it's a story so popularly portrayed by vase paintings and in such a variety of ways!! It's certainly one of the stories that gets left out of written compilation of Heracles' legend a bit (which is a shame, I think it's a fantastic story) but Apollo had a very peculiar relationship with Heracles in general that I just kind of find amazing (and very, very funny).
Apollo is not a god with any legitimate grudge against Heracles, but he does argue with the mortal a bit like he argues with his favourite brothers 😂Part of why I love the story of Apollo and Heracles fighting over the tripod so much is that it is such a little brother thing for Heracles to be upset with the proclamation his elder brother has given him and so, he throws a great fit, taking up the chair and declaring that he'll just give himself a better prophecy! And Apollo, instead of being a marginally professional big brother, decides to fight him for it until their father has to break up their cat-fight. Like was that not just the plot of the Homeric Hymn to Hermes? Is this not exactly how Apollo treated Hermes when he was a child and now those two are inseparable? 💀
Because of this, my favourite vase paintings tend to be the ones that highlight the personal squabbling between Apollo and Heracles the most. There are some very elaborate ones that have the full host of them - Athena, Heracles, Apollo, Artemis, usually a dog and a doe, I've even seen a couple that had birds and plants etched on them, but the simplest ones that show Heracles about to bonk Apollo with his club out of frustration or depict Heracles nyooming away from Apollo while Apollo (presumably) yells curses about how he's going to fling Heracles head first into Tartarus for daring to take his things? Yeah, those are the premium big brother/little brother things I'm looking for.
(Photo. Marie-Lan Ngyuen)
(Photo. Museo Claudio Faina)
Also the one in the Theoi.com archives is a real classic - perfect energy.
#ginger answers asks#Thank you SO much for letting me talk about this even a little it always makes me smile#Despite their disputes - if you ask me Apollo was quite fond of Heracles#And I think a big part of why I ultimately come to that conclusion is that Apollo never hinders Heracles or withholds blessings from him#He simply calls him a bitch every time he sees him and then makes his life marginally more inconvenient#like any good older brother let's be so fr#It's extremely charming to see him so playful with a mortal he's not in love with/that is not his son#Other moments of Apollo teasing Heracles includes him trying to convince Artemis not to let Heracles catch her doe when he comes#to fulfill that particular labour (again he doesn't actually try to stop it he just puts up a bit of a fuss about it)#and perhaps another of my all time favourites#Personally luring Heracles into Admetus' house so Heracles can wrestle Thanatos while Apollo rescues Alcestis#I DO NOT KNOW WHY MORE PEOPLE DON'T TALK ABOUT THE LUNACY OF APOLLO'S ADMETUS/ALCESTIS PRESERVATION PLAN#He really said “No yeah I know a guy don't worry about Death Incarnate” and then Heracles shows up at Admetus' door like this is a sitcom#The laugh track that plays in my mind every time Admetus opens that door sees Heracles and then looks back at the disguised Apollo like#'HIM?? HERACLES?? Heracles who can break me in seven pieces with a thought Heracles???'#And Apollo just gives him a thumbs up and says “feed him well pookie <33”#Genuinely some of the funniest shit I have the pleasure of reading in greek myth#Another reason I don't think Apollo has any ill will against Heracles though is how Apollo reacts when Heracles#loses Hylas in the Argonautica#Or well some versions of the Argonautica - this is also a story that changes wildly depending on the source/compilation#But Apollo is incredibly sympathetic to Heracles' sorrow and kind of decides there and then that Heracles losing one love#should be the return of another and asks that Zeus let Heracles free Prometheus when he makes his descent into the underworld#Similarly it is Apollo who anoints Alcaeus/Alcides the name Heracles (also dependent on the myth source)#They just had a very fun relationship and it's a serious shame that it's not acknowledged more#apollo#heracles#greek mythology#(Also people do not talk about the fact that Apollo grappled with Heracles to a standstill enough actually)
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if ianto jones (NOT gareth david-lloyd. actual ianto jones) walked through your door and said he wasnt dead and he needed a kidney and you were the only match what would you do
i am holding his face in my hands, kissing that man on the forehead, and asking him if he wants the left or right one
#babygirl it would be an HONOR to be rendered immunocompromised for the rest of my life for you#you need a kidney? it’s yours. blood? i got that universal donor shit baby!!! i got liters of sweet sweet O- on tap for you#plasma. marrow. various snacks and soft drinks. you need a few quid? no fucking clue what that is. here’s 50 dollars. i love you#no questions asked. partially because i know it would get me nowhere. gotta assume the reasons are absurd and way above my pay grade.#when dealing with TW and its operatives understand that you will never understand.#you can seek out the truth but don’t try to wrap your head around it.#ianto jones is alive and in your doorway and saying he needs a kidney transplant and that you are the only match in the world? yeah alright.#side tangent: the clarification that this is not GDL made me imagine if it was him and it’s such a funny fucking visual#i hear a knock on my front door. get up and go to it. open it up and it’s fucking Gareth David Lloyd.#i’ve only ever seen him on TV/films or IG but this is a whole ass dude in front of me. and then he says he needs a kidney transplant#and he keeps talking and says that i am the only person on earth who is a donor match so would you please give me your one of your kidneys#just the image of some grown ass man that i vaguely know of spawning outside of my house and asking me to give him one of my organs#it’s so funny to me. how did you find my address? why am i the only viable match? how did you get THAT information? i love torchwood btw#he’s an actor who played one of my favorite characters but he’s also some random man#ianto jones#torchwood
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So I’m definitely not the first person to have realized this, but while I was looking through some assets I stumbled across the tomb stone sprite sheet and realized the text was in a funky script, and realized it’s the same script that’s used on a handful of duplicant made buildings such as the super computer, and hastily scribbled down the cipher to the best of my abilities since I couldn’t find an actual font or sprite sheet for it in game
I probably got some things a bit wrong since the text is so small, but I thought I’d share in case anyone else found this interesting 👍
#rat rambles#oxygen not included#z is the only one that’s super not set in stone since I kind of just assigned it from process of elimination#I saw it on some art of the super computer in the files and it seemed to be the only sign that wasn’t already assigned to smth#plus it’s a flip of s so it’d make sense since several of these are flips of eachother#but yeah it’s pretty neat that the duplicants seem to have their own script#if I’m remembering right english text is used on some gravitas stuff#and the stuff that doesn’t have english text has the more traditional vague scribbles#but yeah this opens some doors for some fun hcs I think#someone who’s better at writing and graphic design than me should make a usable font for this I think it’d be fun
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guys i caught a mouse at work today
#i was walking the tech guy back because one of our printers broke#and i opened the door like yeah its right back he- thats a mouse. thats a mouse sitting in the middle of the room#he was very small and i think very confused/freaked out because he just let me. scoop him up. into my gentle loving arms#like he tried to run a little but he didn’t seem to really know where to go#so i was just on the floor like trying to get ahold of this very tiny very pathetic mouse without hurting it#while saying hey um. dont mind me printers right there with a mouse half in my hands#printer guy brought me over a little basket he found and i scooped mousie into the basket#and then i had a mouse in a basket. so i went back into the lobby and went Guys i have a Mouse in a Basket#and then my supervisor escorted me outside and we found a nice little tree with some shade and little plants to dump him at#except hed been scrambling up the basket the whole time and i think hes just accepted his fate to live there forever by then#because he would Not get out of the basket. i had to very very gently scooch him out#and yeah. maybe i pet the mouse. what do you want from me. he was very small and cute and very soft and rabbies isnt real and cant hurt me#he was so fucking cute. oh my god he was so cute. i hope he does well for himself#coworker was like ‘youre just gonna put him outside to be somethings lunch?’#and i said well. better he be lunch for someone than die in a gluetrap in some dark corner of the office#slightly more dignified way to go. benefits something. but i will be praying for a long and happy life for him regardless#every single time ive seen a mouse in my life ive immediately gone ‘oh im fucking Getting You’ <- lovingly and adoringly#so far im 2 for 5. 40% accuracy rate of Getting That Sucker#which i dont think is too bad considering mice are very small and quick and good at not being getted
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💖 it's here, it's pink, it's sparkly, and full of fluff 💖
Hiiiiii and welcome to witness my attempt at an Olli/Allu Advent Calendar, in which I'll give you ~a cute little something~ about these two idiots in love almost every day until December 24! My plan is to use prompts from this list to either write a fic based on the prompt or just some good ol' delulu thoughts if all else fails. I cannot guarantee there'll be a post literally every day, but I'm really excited to try this out and I thank you for your support along the way in advance 💝
The biggest thanks and a million hugs go to one of my favourite human beings @kraeuterhexchen for making the adorable banner!! I mean helloooooo?? 😭 Go show them some love ❣️
For December 1, the prompt list is titled One True Pairing Moments, and the prompt I chose was 'calling just to hear their voice' 🥺 You can read the fic below, I hope you like it <3
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PS. Even though this is an advent calendar of sorts, I'm not planning on making this particularly Christmassy. I hope no one minds terribly!
~
Falling for Aleksi had, in a way, sneaked up on Olli, at least if he fooled himself a little. He could pretend he didn’t feel any different about the man than he did about, say, Joonas or Tommi, but that strategy only worked for so long – that is to say, approximately until Aleksi as much as smiled softly at him from across a room or bumped his shoulder into his jovially when walking down the street and Olli would feel his breath getting caught in his throat or stumble in his words, his tongue tangled like shoelaces, which was so unlike him as well and frustrated him to no end. It really took a special kind of fool to not only develop some level of feelings for a friend, a colleague, a bandmate for Christ’s sake, but also become so hopelessly enamored with him that you rolled awake in bed in the dead of night, grabbing your phone and tossing it back on the nightstand again and again because you couldn’t decide whether or not you should, on some erratic 2 o��clock impulse, call him to let him know he was the very reason for your insomnia.
Turning on his back, Olli groaned (only a little desperately) as he remembered losing himself in the lingering hug they had shared just before the arrivals lobby at the airport, inhaling Aleksi’s scent and wishing they wouldn’t have to go home just yet, even if Olli was more than ready to finally sleep in his own bed again. Ironically, ever since they had returned home from tour, Olli had spent night after sleepless night missing Aleksi terribly: his stupid jokes and playful banter that bordered on being flirtatious if Olli allowed himself the benefit of delusion; his quick, subtle smiles that probably meant nothing; his little touches Olli hoped meant something; his smell and his touch and the softness of his hair at the back of his neck, compared to which the blanket Olli was grasping in his fist was like sandpaper. (How he had come to know of the qualities of Aleksi’s hair in such detail, he preferred not to dwell on too much to save himself from the heartache, so let’s just leave it at ‘stressful, emotional week far away from home’ and ‘a little too much to drink’).
Above all, Olli missed Aleksi’s voice. He hadn’t even thought that was possible, until the other morning when Olli had woken up to a voice message Aleksi had left just hours earlier, rambling about a song idea he had gotten in the middle of the night – something he did from time to time – and Olli had spent the next several minutes replaying it over and over again as he had lied in bed procrastinating getting up and and instead closing his eyes to better imagine Aleksi lying there beside him, turned on his side to face Olli, talking to him sleepily like they often did when they shared a room on tour and were just too lazy to join others at breakfast. Much like the hug at the airport, Olli wished those moments would have lasted way longer than they did, often ending abruptly when either of their phones would go off with Santeri’s name on the screen, a passive-aggressive interruption to the soft, low tone of Aleksi’s early-morning thoughts. (Sometimes, when Olli was lucky enough, he had been blessed with the bliss of feeling the light touch of a fingertip tracing along his collarbone, cut short just as frustratingly by their well-meaning tour manager politely enquiring whether the two of them had plans of dragging themselves downstairs for some toast and coffee, or if they’d rather starve until lunchtime, for which he wasn’t at all sure they’d even have time that day.)
The lovesick idiot that he was, his thumb hovered over the ‘play’ button of Aleksi’s voice message, probably for the millionth time that week. The chest-carving hesitation turned into a heart flip when he noticed Aleksi was online.
Then Aleksi began to type, and Olli held his breath the entire time until a new message appeared in the thread, anticipation holding him by his throat.
You awake?
Olli exhaled and typed his affirmative reply, leaving out the reason why.
He blinked at the screen, waiting for Aleksi to ask him a random question that clearly couldn’t wait until morning, or perhaps talk about something related to another late-night Twitch stream (from what Olli had gathered, Aleksi had been doing a lot of those recently, and with his last remaining braincell Olli had managed to resist the temptation to watch every single one of them, because he knew that if he did, it would only dig his grave of pining and longing deeper, seeing Aleksi smile and giggle about but not being able to do that with him or snuggle up next to him when he was wearing that flannel Olli often used as a blanket in the tour bus). But instead of another text appearing on the screen, Olli’s phone began to vibrate in his hand, and it took him an embarrassingly long while to understand it was because Aleksi was calling him.
“Hi,” he sighed when he finally collected himself enough to speak. He prayed he’d be able to hear what Aleksi was going to say from the thumping heartbeat echoing in his ears.
“Hi,” a soft voice said. “Sorry, I know it’s late…”
“No, not at all,” Olli hurried to say, “I mean, I wasn’t sleeping. Not even close, actually.” Part of him hoped Aleksi wouldn’t ask about it, but in some foolhardy way the possibility intrigued him.
Nothing much, he would have likely said anyway, but what would happen if he told Aleksi how it really was? That he squeezed his pillow imagining it was him instead, or wailed into it because something had reminded him of a moment-that-was-probably-not-a-Moment™ they had shared? What would Aleksi say if he knew Olli sometimes touched himself the way Aleksi had touched him That One Night they never talked about? The only obstacle between Olli and that knowledge was a bottomless ocean of cold sweat and cowardice, and Olli had never been a great swimmer.
“So, ummm…,” Olli said when Aleksi’s end stayed silent. “What’s up?”
A short breath of laughter sounded through the phone line.
“Honestly? I don’t know, I… It’s just been a… weird week, I guess.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, like… my head’s just been so full of… everything and… I’ve been so busy and kinda tense and… fuck, this is going to sound crazy,” Aleksi laughed that brief laugh again, although to Olli it didn’t sound particularly cheerful. Tired, more like. Strained, somehow. Not sad, but definitely a little troubled, and Olli intended to find out why.
“I’m all for crazy, you know.” Olli hoped his sorry attempt to lighten Aleksi’s mood would work, and so he smiled in relief when he heard Aleksi chuckle at his comment.
“I know,” Aleksi said softly, in that tone of voice that had Olli melt against his bedsheets. “So yeah, it’s been a rough week, but… in between all that stupid shit, I’ve been thinking a lot about… umm… well, the tour and– and… about you, for some reason,” (the troubled laugh made its return) “and… yeah. That’s sort of helped me a lot recently.”
Olli listened to the words carefully, not fully believing what he was hearing, yet clinging on to them until they were all but swirling around in his otherwise empty head like dry leaves in October wind.
“And tonight I just couldn’t fucking sleep for some reason and nothing I did seemed to help and so I thought I’d call you. And I’m–” If it hadn’t been dead silent otherwise, Olli wouldn’t have heard the shaky breath Aleksi paused to take, “I’m sorry I’m calling you at this hour and bothering you with this all but I guess I just… wanted to hear your voice. To see if that would help.”
“Does it?” Olli asked. Aleksi’s confession had made him clasp his blanket close to his chest, as if that would do anything about his rapidly beating heart.
“Yeah. It does. So maybe just… keep talking?”
Despite his mind living a life of its own, completely unfit to form a single coherent thought, for Aleksi’s sake Olli tried his best to think of something to say, but everything he came up with was something he was not ready to tell him quite yet.
“Uuummmm…” he said to buy himself some time, but while he waited for his useless brain and mouth to form any actual words, Aleksi spoke again.
“Fuck, I’m– I’m sorry, this is too weird, I shouldn’t have– I’ll let you go back to–”
“I miss you,” Olli blurted before Aleksi would hang up on him. He squeezed his eyes shut when Aleksi went silent, too silent for too long for it to mean any good.
The line stayed open, however, which Olli took as a positive sign, even if the seconds during which all Olli could hear was Aleksi's quiet breathing seemed endless.
“And I you,” Aleksi finally replied. “A little too much, probably, or at least that’s what it feels like,” he chuckled. Olli almost missed the quiet sniff that followed.
He had to steel himself for his next question.
“What do you mean?”
“Just… forget it.” Aleksi said quietly. Contrary to Aleksi’s request, Olli knew he was going to all but ‘forget it�� for the next 3-5 business days; mentally he booked all his evenings as well as most of his mornings and noons for pondering what exactly had been in Aleksi’s mind in that moment or why he had sounded so sombre, almost disappointed. He’d probably never come to any satisfactory conclusion about it though, at least not without a little help from Aleksi himself.
A ridiculous idea popped into his head, and before he could stop himself, the words flooded out of his mouth.
“Do you wanna come over some time? To hang out? When your schedule’s a little less tight, I mean.” He sucked on his lips and closed his eyes as he waited for Aleksi’s answer, ready to hang up the moment he’d decline the offer on some obvious and logical reason for why Aleksi couldn’t possibly make nor want to take a trip to the north to see him, such as ‘didn’t we just spend over two months on the road together?’ or ‘damn, buddy, I miss you alright but not quite that much, I’ve done enough sitting in public transportation for one year, thank you very much lol’ or ‘what about Rilla?’
“You could take Rilla with you, you know.” Olli hurried to say, just in case, the deranged part of his brain thinking there might be a chance Aleksi might be at least considering it.
“Oh! Well, umm… I actually might have time next week? If– if you’re actually being serious about this.”
Funny you should ask, Aleksi; I’ve actually never been more serious about anything in my entire life than I am about having you here with me so that I can hold you and be held by you and see your face when I wake up in the morning and say goodnight to your annoyingly cute face instead of via text message and maybe, if the stars are in position and the northern wind won’t discourage me too much, I might actually be brave enough to torment you with the knowledge of just how miserable I’ve been since we last saw each other.
“I think it would be cool,” he said, because he had a feeling what he wanted to say would’ve been a tad too much and sudden. “I mean, if you’re up for it, of course. I understand if you can’t make it though, I know you have all those side projects.”
“No, I think it might actually do me some good to get out of the capital area for change.” Then there was a muffled ‘ouch’, followed by a laugh that sounded much brighter than any of the other ones Olli had heard from Aleksi that night. “Sorry, correction, it might do us some good. Rilla just told me she’s most definitely coming too. Rilla, stop nibbling on my toes!”
Olli smiled tiredly at the mental image that was painted in his mind of Aleksi and Rilla cuddling in bed, both minding their own business from what it seemed while still minding each other as well, very much indeed.
“I’ll be sure to set up a bed for her in the guest room.”
“The guest room? Do you not know her at all? If she’s not getting the master bedroom, she’ll ruin all your rugs and most of your shoes. Probably also gossip about you to all the neighbourhood dogs. And she’s brutal.”
Olli held his stomach as he laughed, tears almost forming in the corners of his eyes. In his defence, it was late and he was finally becoming tired, thus too far gone to help himself, let alone feel embarrassed about being in stitches about something Aleksi had said that was only mildly amusing. (It wasn’t the first time that had happened either, and likely not the last time.)
“So yeah, ummm, I can take a look at some flight options for next week and let you know, alright? I’m gonna let you sleep now and… I should get some myself too.”
Olli wanted to tell Aleksi he’d love to stay up chatting until dawn, but the yawn he let out when he opened his mouth to speak implied Aleksi had a point.
“Yeah, let me know. And… thanks for calling, I… you have no idea how much I needed this tonight.”
That was as close to a confession as Olli was able to get as of now.
“Probably not half as much as I did.”
Olli chuckled at Aleksi’s response, mostly to hide his own agony.
If only you knew. If only I knew how to tell you.
It didn’t take long for Olli to doze off after they hung up, and when he woke up to the kids from next door having a snowball fight under his window in the morning, he noticed new messages from Aleksi, sent half an hour after their phone call had ended, complete with screen captions of airplane schedules.
Would these days work for you? I might be free all week actually 😇
Olli cuddled into his pillow while typing his reply, hoping it wouldn’t wake up Aleksi.
yeah I’m free as well. I’ll pick you two up from the airport 🖤
From then on, Olli started counting the days until he’d see Aleksi again.
#blind channel fanfiction#blind channel rpf#ollixallu#24 days of gift-giving by theflyingfeeling#<- that's the tag i'll be using for these btw#everyone stop and look at the banner!! 🥺💖#it's not QUITE like the original one ju made first but maybe one day you'll get to see that masterpiece as well 😏#but ooff the way i've gone from having 'a plan' to having 'a better plan' to having 'no plan whatsoever' with this? 😂#so yeah idk what kinda fics/posts there'll be in this series... stay tuned and see for yourself! 🤭#some of them might be in the same universe/plot. others may not. who knows? not i 😌#(...but as you can see from this fic the door for a multiple-part story is definitely open 👀)#some of the fics may not even be based on a prompt though if i'm not feeling like it. honestly i'm curious to see how this will turn out!#(and if this ends up being the only post i ever make that's alright too! i refuse to bully myself with a hobby i'm doing for free <3)#however: i'm not taking requests per say BUT feel free to snoop on the prompts for each day and send me your ideas or hopeful wishes 👀#there are certain ones i'm more drawn to but i haven't really set anything in stone#one could say i'm just going with the flow. fuck around and find out if you will ✨#also: not sure if/when i'll be bothered to post any of these on ao3#probably i'll just see how many fics i manage to actually finish and dump them all at once on ao3 on christmas day lol#anyway! enjoy & let me hear from you <3
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i always forget i have Healthcare System Anxiety until i have to interact with The Healthcare System and immediately just start screaming internally for days
#my mom obliterated her bones and the pre-surgery surgery post-surgery experience. the ER situation. moving 2 the woods#this is a vent post i forget my complaining tag#waited 30 mins for an ambulance & when we called back they were like ''yeah it hasnt been assigned to anyone & might be hours''#so i drove her to the ER with a migraine & ran over some pylons (cool).#stuck in the ER for 9 hours. took 4 hours for anyone to give her any kind of pain management. i caught covid#was supposed to get a call when she was out of her 2 hrs max surgery. was told i could call if i hadn't heard anything#5 hours later i called and was transferred 6 times - told she had been discharged - told she had never been registered at that hospital -#yelled at by a nurse for asking for patient information - eventually got the right department and was told oh yeah sorry she's in recovery#was supposed to find out if she could come home or not in 30 mins. 3 hours later theyre like OK come get her#i show up and the doors to that wing are. locked? and no one's there to unlock them?#apparently i was supposed to pick up the wall phone? and call a code they hadn't given me? spent 30 mins getting help from other department#to GET THEM TO OPEN THE DOORS. FREE HER RELEASE HER#finally i get in and she's OK SHES FINE except morphine doesn't work on her so that's. fine. bodies are good to have#we have reached shrimp colours levels of anxiety i am a walking talking stress migraine but she's doing ok. but holy fuck#kayvswords#also like she's black and all of her nurses and doctors have been white so feeling normal about all of it all around
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god you know how much i love science fiction/fantasy purely for That Moment when the character rockets off to space for the first time or when they see the stars for the first time or when they see grass for the first time just something inherently beautiful and emotional about watching someone realize that the world is so vast and so much bigger and so much brighter and so much scarier and so much better or whatever that one doctor who quote said
#caroline talks#yeah. i thought about how when i was a little kid#how i felt like someone had opened a door for me#when i watched star wars and star trek and doctor who#something something when jim and bones sees the enterprise for the first time#something about how each one of the companions in doctor who have their 'oh my god. the universe is so lovely' moment#something about just like. realizing that there is so much to see and so much yet to come#like idk. maybe u should watch an episode of some kind of sci-fi/fantasy thingie#and realize that there is so much more to do and so much more to see and so much more to learn and then maybe#maybe u will calm down and maybe u will feel like you were meant to breathe the air and experience another day#who knows! who knows what you might find! isn't the world dangerous! isn't it frightening! isn't it exciting!#isn't it amazing!#and etc etc etc
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i need white women to fucking stop
#young white lady moves in to the apt next door.#into a very very brown neighborhood where most people have been here for decades#points one of those internet-connected doorbell cameras right at our front door#we're like hey what the fuck#and she's like yeah i had some creepy interactions with the maintenance staff. already talked to management about it#like really. you had creepy interactions with the dudes who barely speak any english#“oh i live alone and im worried” bullshit#i swear to god if those guys lose their fucking jobs (management doesnt live here but they are white too)#white women listen to me. I DONTCARE if you dont feel safe#get the fuck out of here#you dont get to fucking come in here all glad the rent is cheap and then be terrified of your neighbors.#like most of us leave our doors open and visit each other regularly. what the fuck are you doing here#i would fucking cry if i could#if this shit wasn't so regular#cw racism#you feel unsafe. YOU feel unsafe. YOU feel unsafe while we're worried you're gonna call the fucking cops on us#mango man rambles
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been having dreams of a certain yt boy as of late
#not the same boy as last like this a different one#this one’s real#and the dream played out like a cute little wattpad story too😭#so basically the scenario was that we were next door neighbors#kind of like a boy next door/ childhood best friends trope yk?#anyways he had called me and we were just chatting it up on the phone#and he was sounding all happy and excited about whatever tf he was talking about which was cute asfff😭#so as we’re talking on the phone im like ‘ykw lemme pull up to his place bcs i miss my man’#but as im packing my bag about to head out the door#his mood does a complete 180#like he just starts sounding all depressed and shit#then ofc i start pressing him like ‘yo what happened r you okay??’#and he’s like ‘yeah😢 don’t come over anymore😞😞 i gotta go😕’ and hangs up on me#and im standing there like ‘oh no😱 my bestie/lifetime crush is upset😨 i gotta get to the bottom of this🧐’#so obviously i got over to his house anyway#and bitch💀#when i open the door to his room#tell me why i find this man crying over some damn JJK LEAKS😭😭#bro was sitting at the edge of his bed tearing up at a manga panel of GOJO#anyway i felt like there was something deeper that was making him upset but then i woke up so who knows#and yeah that was my dream last night#maybe it’s all a sign…#[wp]#wasteland faves👩🏿❤️💋👩🏿
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had a four hour meeting w the group this morning on group grievances and it was surprisingly productive. did almost cry tho bc im so fucking frustrated w the lack of wet lab etiquette in this group lmao.
#one of my coworkers basically implied i have unrealistic standards regarding cleanliness#''our lab isn't a clean room. it doesn't have to be THAT clean. you can't police our behavior in the wet lab''#like BITCH OKAY yeah it's NOT a clean room that doesn't mean we can just have a messy fucking lab??#sorry but you actually can't spill highly concentrated acid and not clean it up#sorry but you actually can't keep the acid hood door open to the point it smells sour in the lab#sorry but you actually do have to be considerate of how you're using the space and if you're creating extra work#for others in the lab purely by using the space and not cleaning up after yourself then you need to#recognize why that behavior is unprofessional and not excusable lmao.#and it's like ok. i'm actually not that much of a bitch when it comes to safety. i could be a WHOLE#lot stricter about stuff. and me going 'hey you made this mess added extra work for me' is not unreasonable#anyways lmao.#then had to do some emotional counseling with ANOTHER person bc he didn't think that perceived hurt is “real”#like he doesn't understand that if he says something that (unintentionally) offends me and i tell him#that he has to do something to resolve that lmao. he doesn't get that#so had to explain to him why that's.... not a great outlook#really fucking hoping shit gets better.#work posting#milo.txt
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read your tags on your latest post (adorable drawing btw) and congrats on graduating!!!!! hope your break year was relaxing!!
Awww, thank you, dear Anon (I’m really pleased with how it came out, so the compliment is much appreciated by me <3 <3)!
This past year has definitely been… an interesting one to say the least, haha, but the amount of white hairs I started my break with has significantly decreased since; I’m definitely not missing any of the deadlines and studying and all that other jazz that comes with uni life, haha 😮💨
My break year was definitely much needed, though, I do think I’ll ultimately be prolonging it—at least a little bit. Been ruminating very much on it, and the conclusion I’ve come to is that I currently feel more and more of an inclination to pursue something creative primarily rather than taking on the structure and pain that comes with academics for a more stable career—for the moment, at least. I ultimately want to try and get a first draft of a manuscript finished first at least and see how I feel about it.
I can still go back to school if I decide this path’s not ultimately right, though I’m not sure if, when/if I do, it will still be veterinary/medicine-focused. We shall see, we shall see…
#asks#a little info-dumpy this one oops#but i feel like talking about this stuff aloud helps me get more of an idea of what i want/sort out what i should do#so ig i can’t help but ramble a little eheh sorry about that#i find it so funny how orgo 1 gave me such an existential crisis in my first year when i felt pretty sure what i wanted to pursue before it#and then having a much better experience with orgo 2/lab right before graduating put some confidence back in me#when a part of me kinda thought i’d be done#that hey—i’m not out of this race if i don’t want to be#that i’m not completely ill-fit haha#but yeah… question is what is it that i want whomp whomp#younger me would hate it so much but if my academic life really does end at a bachelor’s degree#i think i’d be fine with it#but i shouldn’t close that door either#should still keep my options open#man why does this feel so… heavy-ish??? i meant to answer this lightheartedly *i swear*#i suppose i should have more of these conversations irl haha#very much appreciate your ask anon <3 <3#‘twas nice to hear 😌
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ive been a little upset about it all night so i need to write out all the things that happened at work today and are bugging me so i can TRY to get it out of my head and actually RELAX bc i just keep pacing in circles around it instead of just accepting it and moving on
#for context i was working frying chicken today. ok so i arrive and literally all the chicken out expires within ten minutes of each other#meanwhile to remake everything takes about an hour 20#tried my best to get everything out and replaced and make sure i have enough of everything and then take my break bc with chicken there are#few narrow windows to take your break in you have very little control over when it is#get back and while im getting ready for my next fry one of the assistant leaders comes back and passive aggressively asks 'everything ok?'#and when i say yeah shes starts saying how shes 'just checking' because apparently i didnt have enough chicken out for her liking and went#on about how we're in a chicken drive (I KNOW. I WORK CHICKEN SHE NEVER HAS.)#etc etc. i just say ok and she leaves#like 20 minutes later she comes fucking back to rag on me again about how i need to choose my break times better and i need to have more#chicken out there as back up (extremely difficult bc there is literally only so much room in the fryers. the batches i usually make already#nearly completely fill them up) blah blah and then when i try to explain how i WAS making pretty big batches people are just snatching them#up fast she keeps trying to walk out the door right away and keeps stopping and looking over her shoulder to just stare at me while i try t#finish my sentence#and she just. doesnt say anything in response when i do finish she just leaves#so clearly she didnt want a conversation she just wanted to rag on me#then later for cleanup the timing of everything just kept lining up inconveniently so i kept having to get in and out of raw cleaning gear#and slowing myself down and i end up having to stay almost 15 minutes late to finish cleaning#during cleaning i have to go grab a key to the back door to take out my trash and this one coworker i have was standing in the way of the#door. i say excuse me and she just stares at me and goes huh?#and i say i need a key and she barely moves out of the way without responding and she has a look like im bothering her#why are you acting like im being douchey. i just need a key. thats something she does a lot she acts like im inconveniencing her by asking#basic favors . ive stopped asking her to help me open the back door (sometimes needed if i also have raw garbage to take out and therefore#cant touch the key myself) for some reason she takes it upon herself to almost completely close the door after i walk out so when i come#back i have to awkwardly use my foot to reach around and pull the door open#ive asked her before not to do it and she just ignored me#GRAH GRAH. and then like i said in my last rb i realized while i was drivign home i forgot to wash a damn pan#im mostly worried about it because ive forgotten a couple times in the past too . in my defense its a pan i personally dont use but it just#gets left behind from first shift sometimes and then second shifters end up having to make sure its clean#im just irritateddd and im mad im worried about it all. its all little things piling up on each other#LOL I WROTE A LOT MORE BUT THE REST GOT CUT OUT IG I HIT A TAG LIMIT. tumblr voice ok dude quit your bitching !!
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one of the friends i made at a concert just asked me what i do for work is it morally wrong of me to lie
#it's just that for the most part as soon as people know i do psychology they just start going HAM#like telling me all this shit#and like yeah it's fine and cool that they trust me#but sometimes i just want to have fun!!! and have a light-hearted conversation for once#she did kinda tell me all this fucked up shit at the show. the one (1) time we met#which like. people always do to me for some reason.#but yeah i don't want to open that door any further#I feel bad but like fuck#anyway idk considering saying im studying or something idk
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last night i had a dream that had something to do with reading a fic abt . well i wanna say "a haunted forest diner" but i've already written a haunted forest diner fic and it was not at all like that. anyway, it was this haunted forest diner fic in the sense that all its patrons were old forest gods of like decay and shit and in order to sneak in, you had to transform into like a deer, and apparently i was a supremely graceful jumper for a stag
but anyway i dreamt that that was a fic that i had apparently read and commented on months ago, but for w/e reason i had never read the replies to, and the author had replied that i seemed like a cool person n that they would have loved to have read some stuff i had written "but it seems you do not have any genshin works up..."
and honest to god all i could think upon reading that was literally "lol skill issue"
#and then i dreamt that i got one of those defeat the 8-12 hilichurl comms in genshin n i was like fine fine w/e#but after killing two i somehow figured out that they were not trying to kill me but instead trying to kidnap me to be their medic#and i was intrigued enough to be like 'okay' n sat down on this white blanket thing they had set aside for me#n one of my friends (don't remember who) was like 'yo you good?' n i was like 'yeah they just want me to be their medic'#n my friend looked at me suspiciously n was like 'well the comm isn't over you have six more to kill but if you need me i'll be over there'#n she pointed to where the trumpets i knew in high school (minus cody? i think?) were having sectionals under some trees#it was definitely trumpet sectionals but for whatever reason my brain decided to edit out cody So fucking True get redacted idiot#anyway so i just waited around in the warm sun untild a bunch of humanoid creatures started coming down the hill#i think they were supposed to be bosses or smth but none of them are in gnshn even tho we were def in mond or liyue by this point#and they all had different colored faces but anyway my friend was like 'THIS IS WHY WE HAVE TO DEFEAT ALL THE HILICHURLS!!!'#'BECAUSE IF WE DON'T THEN THEY'RE JUST BUYING TIME FOR *THESE GUYS* TO COME!!!!'#n i was like 'oh shit!!' n we started fighting them n they were really tanky but we got most of them except for the blue one#and so i went back to the haunted diner place n entered it as a human n went upstairs where i found the author in my dreams#n she said that we couldn't talk long bc the blue guy was after me but she'd distract it by joining its side#and also there was like this whole subplot in between abt like uhhh exchanging love for power i think? idk i don't remember rn#i just remember that the author temporarily exchanged some of her like. goodwill or smth to buy me time to prepare for my fight#with the blue guy and so i hiding in the bathroom listened w my ear pressed against the wall as she became corrupted n then it was#my turn to fight the blue guy n i opened up the door n stuff but then i woke up :c#anyway so that was MY dream diary for today everyone leave your own recent dreams in the replies and we can have a discussion lol#花話
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Honestly tma should’ve ended after season four like I feel like SEEING the fear apocalypse made it super underwhelming
#like if it had just ended with ‘I open the door’??? badass ending. completely up to the listener what happens after.#sorry saw a post about over explaining horror that was made unrebloggable and have to get my feelings out somehow#I’m pretty neutral on the ‘explaining the fears’ thing bc on one hand yeah the monster of the week with some red string connections for the#theorists was a fun format! where if you were Deep in the show you’d be able to make connections but if you weren’t super paying attention#it wouldn’t take away from the experience. however I do think the fears as a concept are fun and I have autism categorization brain#so it scratches an itch. I think either way on that I’m neutral. however. while I liked some aspects of s5. I think the apocalypse was#underwhelming. there were some cool episodes but overall it wouldve been cooler to just end the show after I open the door imo#also I hated the twist that it was all the web. or at least I hated the direct confirmation of it.#also I do think they over explained the over explaining. like revealing the fears is one thing but the show got way too complicated#like I was a HUGE tma fan but even I had no idea what they were talking about sometimes. maybe that’s just me
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